Graduation, a film by Cristian Mungiu

Graduation, by Cristian Mungiu

reviewed by NC Weil

This 2016 Romanian film by the director of 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days, spans the time between a young woman's high school final exams and her graduation. Her father, a doctor, and mother, a librarian, though estranged (he sleeps on the couch and has a lover), both dote on their daughter, and their highest concern is her well-being. The girl is an excellent student, but the day before her exams she is attacked by a would-be rapist - in the scuffle her wrist is broken, but her violation goes far deeper than bones in a cast.

Her father, a precise, methodical, and - yes - kind man, is determined to see her go to university in the UK where she has been offered a scholarship (contingent on high exam scores). He will do anything to make that plan happen. The assault is one more reason - Romania, for him, is a dead end. He and his wife are stuck there, but for their daughter, it is not too late. She must leave.

The film opens with a rock shattering a window of their ground-floor apartment - the doctor certainly has a point about the benefits of living elsewhere - and he has labored to give her the chance to escape. But after the assault she gets cold feet.

Strip away the differences between Romania's culture and our own, and the film boils down to a father wanting what he is convinced is best for his near-adult daughter, with his intentions overriding her own desires and distractions. Graduation is about leaving one phase of life to move into the next. The impossibility of planting your own experience directly into the heart and mind of a grown child is on painful display here - you have learned the hard way what you should have done, but she, rationally or not, has to make her own choices.

For a parent, relinquishing control can mean one's life has truly been wasted - you didn't save yourself, and you can't save her either. But she's no longer yours to control - to insist on obedience is to keep her dependent, unable to be any kind of adult. In the end, that stunting is probably a worse trap than whatever limits her bad decisions impose. Mungiu's sympathy for all his characters forces us to recognize that everyone, no matter how corrupt or self-serving, is just trying to make the best of the life they're stuck in. Futility outranks evil in his compromised worldview.

One of the standout moments in life is reaching an educational milestone.
It doesn't even have to be your own -

Today Ernesto completed his undergrad college work, and in February will receive the piece of paper (as long as he doesn't have any library fines!). As a parent, I look forward to the ceremony as I didn't when it was my own diploma being awarded. Back then, having to buy a one-use gown then sit in the swelter, without ever having my name actually called, wasn't very enticing - I think I went hiking that day.

However, when my sons are being honored, you better believe I'm attending! Temple University's mid-year commencement exercises are much smaller than their May event, so his name might be announced. Even if it's not, Fred and I will be there, proud and happy.

We don't know where his Anthropology degree will take him, but the process of earning it has already carried him far: to Philadelphia, where he's figured out the housing and work challenges many students face; to Rome for a semester; to rural western India for a month.

The world awaits -- Bon Voyage, Ernesto!